I sat in my car, trying to psych myself up for going into the grocery store.  I despise making stops after a long day at work and try really hard to get all shopping done on the weekends so I don’t have to.  Unfortunately, my son’s ADHD medication is a stimulant and ADHD parents know all too well that you can’t refill those too early.  To add extra insult to injury, our pharmacy only uses the automated system, so I can’t even talk to the pharmacist to refill it over the phone (because the doctor has to send three separate months, so technically, there isn’t a refill.  Confused?  So am I, don’t worry).  I tried giving myself a pep talk-”this will be quick, don’t worry, then you can go home”.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t as quick as I hoped.  There was a new pharmacy tech working, so when I tell her I need a refill, she tells me there isn’t one and I need to call our doctor.  I know from past experience that the doctor will not resend them, so I try to look back in my calendar to see when we last saw her to try to give the tech a date when they were sent.  While this is going on, my son is texting me asking to go watch our school’s choir concert that night.  When I answer him with a no, my phone continues to blow up with complaints from him.  Eventually the pharmacy tech finds the prescription, but in the meantime, my texts back to my son get more heated and it’s all I can do to keep from exploding.

I am a Physical Education teacher who teaches 6-7 classes per day of age levels from Kindergarten to eighth grade.  There is one thing that remains the same in each grade: the noise level.  By the time I leave work, I am not starting from a place of calm or regulation, I am already overstimulated.  Then to have to enter a store with fluorescent lights, background noise, having to troubleshoot at the pharmacy and argue via text with my child, it’s enough to send me over the edge.  This used to be much easier and I could handle additional challenges better.  But at this time of year and this stage of my life, decisions are so hard and any additional stimuli makes a task impossible.  What realistic strategies will work in the middle of a store?

What Sensory Overload Feels Like When You’re Already Burnt Out 

In today’s society, everything is go go go and the expectation is that things will be done immediately.  In addition to trying to advance a career and raise a family, you or a loved one may be neurodivergent.  This can involve additional appointments with providers, therapists, and educators to ensure that positive progress is being made.  This is what led to my burnout 7 years ago.  When you are already in burnout, you may experience any of the following: 

• Decision paralysis in the middle of a simple task
• Snapping at your child/partner and feeling instant guilt
• Wanting to abandon everything and disappear

If you already feel like this on a regular basis, any seemingly small thing that is put on top of that could be enough to cause you to spill over.  And it’s not your fault-you may not recognize what’s going on with your nervous system; I certainly didn’t see it in myself until about a year ago.

The Invisible Build-Up (Why It Feels Like It Comes Out of Nowhere) 

There are some additional factors that can exacerbate pre-existing overwhelm.  These include: 

• Skipping meals-one of the biggest provokers of my anxiety was not eating enough protein.  As soon as I dialed that in, I actually began to feel calmer because I wasn’t running only on carbohydrates and starving every hour.
•  Poor sleep-this is a big one.  Not having enough quality sleep (between 7-9 hours for most adults) leads to emotional dysregulation.  
• No quiet time-when you already know you are overstimulated, you need some time and space to allow yourself to regulate.  But this is really challenging, especially if your children are very young, or have additional needs.
• Emotional labor-raising children (especially neurodivergent ones) carries a lot of emotional baggage.  I can’t tell you how many nights I laid awake, wondering how my kids were going to survive school.  This has a significant impact on your energy levels and most people don’t realize it; it’s just going on in the background.
•  Decision fatigue-If I have to answer “what’s for dinner?” one more time….Decision fatigue is also a huge contributor to overwhelm.  

The grocery store isn’t the problem but it is the tipping point with my overstimulated nervous system.

What can I do?

The first step I always emphasize in any situation with clients is awareness.  Try to pay attention to what your body is telling you-do you have a nervous feeling in your stomach?  Are your muscles tensing up?  The more you practice awareness, the easier it will become to track when you first start feeling overwhelmed.  Early awareness = more control over the situation.

Other signs to watch for are: 

• Rushing everyone-especially in stores
• Irritation at small noises or questions-rapid fire questions are a trigger for me
• Forgetting what you came for
• Feeling trapped or desperate to leave-which can lead to rushing everyone

In-the-Moment Survival Strategies (That Actually Work in Real Life)

1. Create Immediate Space (Even If You Can’t Leave)

• Step into an aisle, bathroom, or outside for 60 seconds-give yourself a chance to breathe
• Turn your body away from stimulation

2. Regulate Fast, Not Perfectly

• Focus on one slow breath with a longer exhale
• Press your feet into the ground or grip the cart handle-this helps you reconnect with reality, instead of panic
• Keep it simple—no long routines.  Overcomplication will lead to more overwhelm.

3. Reduce the Mental Load Instantly

• Drop to “minimum viable task”, for example, get 3 essentials instead of your full list.
• Give yourself permission to leave

4. Protect Your Energy in the Moment

• Short responses to others
• Let go of being “nice,” “efficient,” or “productive”
• Advocate for yourself-ask for help so you can step away

If You’re Managing Kids While Overstimulated

Let’s face it: part of parenting is not always being able to step out of a situation.  If you are overwhelmed, but need to stay in the situation, try:

• Simple co-regulation strategies:
  • Lower your voice instead of raising it
  • Short, clear instructions
• Normalize imperfection:
  • “You will have moments you don’t like. That doesn’t define you.”

Prevention That Fits a Busy, Overwhelmed Life (Not a Perfect One)

Progress is still progress; little changes add up to big results.  When you start small, you are more likely to be successful and if you start even smaller, you are more likely to actually follow through.  Some small ideas to start with include: 

Before You Leave

• Eat something simple-for some of my clients, remembering to eat is a win.  This is okay, you have to start somewhere.
• Set a realistic expectation-this doesn’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to love it.  

Reduce Sensory Load Ahead of Time

• Consider packing items, such as headphones, sunglasses, or even a comfort item.  I have started wearing Loops to filter out background noise and they help tremendously.
• Choose quieter times when possible (without pressure)-again, I love going to the grocery store on a Saturday morning, ideally before 10 AM when there are less people.

Build in an Exit Plan

It’s okay if you get overwhelmed and you need to leave a situation.  Before you go to an event, try to roleplay how you would handle leaving.  Tell yourself “If I feel overwhelmed, I can leave without explaining”.  This alone reduces pressure and you may be able to handle more than you think!

If you start to feel overwhelmed, it’s important that you recognize this and intervene in that moment, instead of pushing through.  When we continue to push through overwhelm, we march ourselves closer to burnout.  

What if I Mess Up?

Even the best intentions will occasionally result in big emotions.  When this happens, it’s important to let go of the shame and judgement.  We wouldn’t use those ideas if someone else made a mistake, and it’s important to show ourselves the same grace.  You don’t need to replay that moment on repeat; let it go and when you’re ready, gently ask yourself what will support you best in the future.  That way, you can be more prepared next time.  

Small wins lead to progress.  Progress increases your self-confidence.  Over time, you begin to feel lighter and are able to take back your health, home, and identity.  

The truth is, this was never about the grocery store.  This is about living in constant overwhelm and feeling like you have lost control of your life and who you are.  My passion is helping clients reduce their baseline overload, create systems that support their brains and lives, so they can feel like themselves again—not just survive the day.  If you are ready to feel relief and lighten the overwhelm, contact me for a free consultation-I’m ready to help!